Friday, 13 November 2009

that Tesco emotion

some folks don't cover their mouths when they cough, y'know

Lordy, I had a little epiphany yesterday. And it happened in Tesco, too.

I'd popped in to get some Baldwin's Sarsaparilla, the soft drink of choice at Schloss Marland, and went hunting for two-for-one offers while I was at it, and the other stuff in the World Foods aisle, which is a useful indicator of who is moving to Bristol from where; the Polish section got quite big a couple of years ago, and is still chugging quietly along although there are now dedicated Polish shops out there. Anyway, so I had to have some Zywiecka sausages. Oh, and some processed cheese with ham in it. The Polish one, not's Tesco's Finest, which does sound a bit off-putting.

And then I used the self-service check-out. And everything scanned and I managed to pay for it and leave without the system freezing up on me and ordering me to wait for assistance, which has happened every damn time I've used these things in the past.

Which was a good thing, because the assistant who was detailed to do that was being harangued by a tall young man with dreadlocks and a Home Counties accent; something to do with carrier bags and packaging. I think he was trying to raise her consciousness. I wonder what he was doing shopping in Tesco in the first place?

Anyway, it was a glorious moment, and even Natty Tarquin couldn't spoil it, though I had to keep looking back as I left to make sure I'd not really messed up somehow.


  1. Thought it was just me with the "will not pay someone to work at the checkout" self service aisles.

    I wonder how many more rubbish bags they now sell since they now don't want to let you have a bag to carry away your stuff?

    Caroline xx

  2. So no, 'Unexpected Object in the Bagging Area' Dru?! Congrats...

    My best friends, Tesco ;-)

    I actually think some of these places are now on to the '2nd generation' of self scanners now...I was in my local Extra the other day and the machines were all different.

    Unlike you though, I failed to have a Damascene Moment, and something or other made the whole thing seize up as usual...

  3. We're just starting those scanners here. I'm going to have a go, but not with a huge weekly shop.

    I don't fancy cheese with bits, reminds me of the time I accompanied a class of five year olds to visit an affineur. "Don't touch the cheese" he said and twenty little hands reached out all at once.

    I was on the bus with a 'soul warrior' yesterday. Doped out of his mind and full of piercings.

  4. Need a new name, self implies that it can be done with just one pair of hands but a team of two is the minimum for more than four items which clog up the belt and end in a squashed pile. I need a team of three since I scan at twice the speed of the check out assistants because I want to go home and forget all the stupid things tesco do like employ fruit and veg assistants who think all the produce is made of indestructible rubber and must be handled with all possible violence! That is how the department head handles the produce at my local so you can only but fruit and veg from newly opened boxes!!!!!!

    Feel so much better now, thanks Dru.

    Caroline xx

  5. Um, the message next to the barcode in your picture says 'Offer ends 20/2/2007'. Does that mean that the goods had been hanging around for more than two years on Tesco's shelves?

    Is it possible that the Polish sausages were antique? (Although for all I know they might need maturing like wine, and taste better for several years under flourescent lights)


  6. I've never seen a candy aisle like the one at Tesco's. Except, perhaps, Sainsbury's.

    Oddly, the first time I saw a "self-checkout" thingy was at a Home Depot. Imagine trying to get a truck load of lumber and drywall through that. I've seen it. It was Not Pretty.

    Oy vey.

    On the other hand, today, I got through the ShopRite self-checkout without any problems. Which was a first. It doesn't freak, so much as get confused... But it sorted itself out and I escaped its evil clutches.

    Carolyn Ann

  7. Unexpected item in bagging area
    Unexpected item in bagging area
    Unexpected item in bagging area

    OK, so middle class customers buy the odd pot noodle - get over it!

  8. Old photo, Lucy; I was reminded of it when I saw that Tesco still have their 'cheese with bits', so, if I had to take their carrier bags(to avoid that 'unexpected item in bagging area' trauma, since my own bag is huge and weighs at least a hundredweight with cameras, books and sweets) at least I recycled a picture...

    Thank you, Suzzy!

  9. I got the wretched 'Unexpected item' warning again yesterday. The nature of my transgression was a mystery. I stood there like a lemon, people tutting testily in the queue behind, until an assistant hastily keyed in some abracadabra code and started to make off. Hang on, says I, would you mind explaining what I did wrong there. 'It just sometimes does that if you just like move something or anything' she says. Uh huh.


  10. Asda and tesco obviously have special "don't encourage this person to shop here" detectors - I've given up trying to get stuff through their scanners... even cheese with bits ;-)