Sunday, 1 April 2012

TransBristol meet-up

I cycled down to the city centre on Friday evening, and exchanged a lovely warm spring evening for the inside of a rather dark and shiny night club.

Some of the people from My Transsexual Summer were appearing at OMG that evening, and Daryn from the LGBT Forum had suggested that people from TransBristol might like to come along and meet up, at the same time. Seemed like a good idea...

And it was. I was able to meet in person some nice folk I'd only met online; and say hello to some friends, including a couple of surprise visitors; Stephanie, for instance,  had come down from the Marches for the evening. We'd corresponded after she'd read Becoming Drusilla and written a kind review of it on Amazon. That's us, in the picture up there.

Mary Milton wandered by with a big recording thing slung over her shoulder, accompanied by Natalie, whose interview with Sarah and Karen from MTS will be appearing on Shout Out before too long...

...I took the camera along, but this was the only pic I took as it was quite dark in there, and I was reticent about taking pics after my experience at a TransLondon event a few years ago, when I'd blithely taken pics and learned later that some attendees (or possibly it was one attendee) very much objected to being photographed in a trans* group....

....and then the music got louder, and it was time for me to slip away and go home to a mug of cocoa.

Felt ambivalent about the evening; it is good to meet up, but I really don't like night clubs, especially when they turn the music up. I remember when I first ventured out in 2001, going to a club in Old Market that I had heard was trans-friendly (it was) and looking around and thinking, oh dear, do I really have to become someone who has to go to night clubs? (I didn't).

Maybe we can just sit under a tree next time....

How not to have a conversation (while wandering around saying hello to people I had not met before):

Her: So, ...are you transitioning?
Me: mmm.... I suppose so...
Her: Are you going to Charing Cross?
Me: I used to, yes
Her: Oh! -Are you post-op, then?


  1. Sitting under a tree sounds perfect to me.

  2. I think I'd prefer to sit under a tree too.

  3. You have cracked me up with that conversation. I used to dread a similar scenario when being porky; someone thought I was pregnant again when I had just piled on a spare tyre. What can you say?

    I too dislike nightclubs - even when I was young.

    It is interesting to hear about the book and the life you have had. You seem to become more famous every time I log on.

  4. Right, let's form a Tree Party!

    I was rather nonplussed, Bella- I realise that some people in the trans world are happy (perhaps too happy) to talk about the genitals stuff, but it wouldn't be on as a conversation opener with anyone else, and it wasn't really on this time, either. Oh well, hopefully she'll learn....
    ...resolutely un-famous, me, thank goodness. :-)

  5. I am astounded that ANYONE would be so patronising to say such a thing to you, let alone the person I know it was ... argh ... guess the night club was too dark for her to see you properly :-) As you know, I found it amusing to think of you having to hang out in a night club :-) When we are our age most women wouldn't be seen dead in a nightclub. I think a tea shop in a garden centre would be more suitable. X Annie

  6. It was a wonderful evening and a real pleasure to meet at long last, you were just as I expected, charming and friendly.

    I am sorry to hear about the idiot who asked you such a crass question, it beggers belief, mind you my dear father, who I love very much, still introduces me to total strangers as " This is my Daughter who used to be my Son"!!.

    I loved the nightclub despite my aging years lol, you could probably tell that David hated every minute of it ( the club that is not the company:)).

    Hope we meet again soon. Stephanie.xx

  7. Thank you for the name check Dru!

    Yes that interview will appear on ShoutOut very soon. This week (5th Apr) we are talking about South West Pride, next week (12th Apr) will be Nicola and Meg talking about some of the legal issues they encountered when Nicola transitioned and they remained married. The following week our guest will be Bristol new gay Lord Mayor and the interviews with Karen and Sarah may well future in that one. While I did carry the rather unnecessarily large tape recorder, Natalie one of our other volunteers actually conducted the interview.

  8. It wasn't my usual kinda haunt either, but it was very nice to meet people and well worth the journey. Nikki and I peeled away not too long after you Dru, we ended up stopping for food at a place where we were treated as a couple on a date, something that amused us greatly.

  9. It was quite a surprise being taken for lunch to a garden centre by a friend a while back, Annie! A wooden hut hidden behind the compost sacks, where Ladies Wot Lunches were tucking into rocket salads and bean and chorizo stew... who'd a thunk it, I thought...

    Hi Stephanie! Yes, he did seem a little out of place, poor chap. It was really nice to meet you at last.

    Thanks, Mary. I've edited the post to name-check Natalie.

    That sounds like the makings of a blog post there, Jenny!

  10. Hi My name's Sarah and i live in North Somerset. My partner Dave (or Eva) is transgendered and is extremely depressed. I'm no help at all and am trying to find somewhere local where he can meet some friends who will be understanding and good listeners. When are you all having a meeting again?



  11. Hi Sarah,
    I'm not sure if this is of help but it's worth offering. I'm not from Bristol so other than happening to be at this meeting I can't comment on Bristol groups, but I found the Swindon group to be a very quiet, friendly and understanding place to find help when I was at Eva's stage. It might be at the extreme edge of your range, but it's worth advancing it as an option.

    At a well-run group there should be no need to have to cross-dress to attend, so if going out in public as Eva is a source of stress then the bloke should receive just as much support. In my case I was the scruffy bloke for months before anyone saw me as the girl.

    Hope this helps, and good luck.

  12. Hi Sarah

    Sorry for the slow response here! We don't have regular meet-ups (yet, if ever) but have had an ad hoc one and there are more planned. It might be helpful if you or your partner were to look in on the Transbristol Facebook group; it would at least be a way of networking with local TG people

    ...there's also the TransBristol blog which is not updated much (mea culpa)