Warty Bliggens

Not a toad but a frog. Kiss it if you like, but it'll still be a frog. Unless it's a metaphor.

Richard was on the phone on Friday; we're doing an interview with a regional newspaper next week. Funny; I remember the headline the same paper ran during the Tribunal, which was a little sensationalist and ever so slightly unpleasant. Hopefully this will prove a happier experience.

It got me thinking of the stuff that was said about me back then, at the time when P&O were merrily spouting out unsubstantiated allegations (are they the same as stinking lies, do you suppose?); and the toads and weasels of the world were busily lapping it up and nodding their heads sagaciously and saying, presumably, "O yes, we know what they're like..."

Anyway, I Googled my name just then, to see if there was anything toxic lying around.

I found this, from the Daily Star

HE'S NOT A FLIRT. .HE'S A LAY-DEE!


Byline: OLIVIA MATTHEWS

A SEX-SWAP sailor didn't blow kisses at shipmates - she was just pouting.

Drusilla Marland was prone to pursing her lips, said her friend X, also born a man.

The transsexuals arrived at an employment tribunal on bikes yesterday, just like Little Britain "Lay-dees" Emily and Florence, played by Matt Lucas, 32, and David Walliams, 34.

Miss McLeod said she had seen the redhead pouting many times but had never taken this as a sexual come-on.

Miss Marland, 48, claims she was hounded out of her job with P&O Ferries due to constant jibes.

The engine room worker said fellow staff quizzed her on her "balls" and referred to her as "he".

Miss Marland, of Bristol, claims she was forced to resign from the Pride of Bilbao, which sails from Portsmouth.

The tribunal also heard that male colleagues complained that Miss Marland joked one of them could be her first sexual partner after she had the full op - claims she denies.

Miss McLeod, 49, said: "As for her 'exaggerated pouting', I have never attached any meaning to it. It's a mannerism, that's all."

P&O Ferries admits sexual discrimination but denies unfair dismissal.

Nicely written, Olivia. I like the subtle way she brought in Little Britain. Apparently David Cameron, head of the Conservative Party, uses a bicycle too, so I guess he must be a "lay-dee" as well. Is that how it works, 'Olivia'?

And then, in number seven position on Google, is someone who describes himself as Admiral Flynn, who has a little blog called "Admiral Online" where he makes querulous noises about the world. Here's a little throw-away remark he made about me:

This is Drusilla Marland.

'She' used to be a man but nobody would possibly know

She/He is claiming unfair dismissal.

She claims some people made fun of her.

Surely not

Note the inverted commas, suggesting that I am not really a she at all; and the she/he thing, which perhaps suggests that I'm not really a human at all. Nicely done, 'Admiral'!


Phew, got that off my chest. No point in jumping up and down and getting annoyed; after all, I was completely vindicated and these silly little people ended up with egg on their faces; but if you ever do pass by this way, Olivia Matthews and 'Admiral' Flynn, I'd like you to know that what you wrote was plain nasty, and that you rendered yourselves contemptible by doing it. At least Olivia was being paid to do it. I wonder if that makes it better, or worse?