blazing the path

Testing Little Willy, the new bike headlight (all the neat names like Blinder and Predator were already taken)

Here at Gert Macky (publishers, bicycles fettled, a song a dance a merry quip), we always have our eye on what's going down on Teh Street. And this winter, what's been going down a lot on both the street and on the towpaths and roads near us has been intrepid cyclists striving for ever brighter headlights. Now, auntie Vera was in the ATS during the war, operating a searchlight on a hill near Bristol, and she happened to mention a disused hangar Somewhere In The West Of England that was stuffed with the things at the end of the war. 

Reasoning that a light intended to pick out a Heinkel 111 flying at 15,000 feet would be perfect for sticking on your bicycle when riding on the Bristol to Bath cycle path, we hot-footed it down there and blew away the cobwebs. Result! They are quite bulky, but with a bit of tweaking we got them to fit on the handlebars of some test bikes, and sent out our researchers to road test them.

Results have been extremely positive. Of course, there have been objections from some antisocial fuddy-duddies, suggesting that things were already bad enough when cyclists used lights more suitable for blazing a trail through the uncharted wastes of the Rockies or Carpathians, than for a gentle commute on a well-defined path through suburbia. As our testers pointed out:

You can always look away

Of course we can't dip the lights, that's how they're set up

I'd fall off my bike laughing if some self-appointed warden told me to dip my light

It's just light envy

F***ing wanker

There's always someone complaining*

*all these points were made by cyclists on a couple of Facebook posts discussing this very topic

monkey see monkey do

Oh dear, the rot's set in in the leafy suburbs of North Bristol.

The front of the Moggy has been getting very rattly lately, and yesterday I finally gave it a Serious Looking At. The starboard Armstrong damper has come loose, and the bolts holding it to the cross-member have stripped their threads. So I rolled the car up onto the pavement, so that the wheels are just on the kerb. This allows me to crawl under the engine and gain access to the inside of the cross-member. Today I shall go and get some replacement bolts and hopefully all will be well again.

This morning I looked out of the window and saw that someone, presumably inspired or emboldened by my example, has parked right up on the pavement.

This represents a further instance of the increasing encroachment onto pavements of cars, whose owners are presumably more concerned about the safety of their wing mirrors than that of pedestrians, who are, after all, inconsequential.

Hence the occasional sight of a parent pushing a pushchair down the middle of the road because there isn't enough room on the pavement to get past the cars; or of a blind person trying to negotiate a BMW 4x4 parked across the dropped kerb at a junction, which I saw recently.

No, honestly, little silver car person; this road's big enough for you to park on it!

Some other fine examples of Bristol parking can be found in this Flickr set

bring back Bristol's Zil lane!

 There have been some changes on the local roads here in Bristol. Just around the corner from me, the Westbury Road (see picture)  has had one of its three lanes re-designated as a bus lane. In the screenshot above, you can see the former configuration. Between the White Tree roundabout and the Henleaze Rd junction (top left), the centre lane was divided between a right filter for the northbound traffic, and a right filter for the southbound traffic.

In this picture, typical of an off-peak traffic flow, we see

• 14 cars in the southbound/left filter lane
• 5 cars in the northbound lane
• 2 cars in the northbound right filter lane
• 0 cars in the southbound right filter lane

The southbound right filter lane did, though, prove to be very useful for people in a hurry. Never a journey would go by without my seeing someone charge down the right filter lane, then go straight across the roundabout, forcing their way into the southbound stream, a manoeuvre that involved a hard acceleration into the roundabout and close scrapes with both the cars using the correct lane procedure, and pedestrians using the zebra crossing that's just out of shot in the lower right corner.

It was quite a fun game, actually, guessing which car in the right hand lane would do it. White vans, taxis, Range Rovers, and anything black and shiny were, of course, top of the list of candidates; and, on the rare occasions that they actually did turn right, I would reflect that I should work harder at overcoming my prejudices. So it could be morally improving as well as entertaining.

Now, the entire middle lane is dedicated to southbound and right-turning traffic The southbound left hand lane is now the bus lane, with a left filter for non-bus lane traffic in the section close to the roundabout.  

 Driving south the other week, I was surprised to see a couple of people on the adjacent pavement, waving placards objecting to the bus lane and handing out leaflets inviting drivers to sign a petition. I was surprised, because the new road configuration seems to be a much better use of resources than the previous one.

And then I got an e-mail, also inviting me to sign the petition, with the explanation that

Hiya

I had this link passed to me by a Henleaze Parent. If you have a strong view about the new bus lane, the petition needs signing soon, as it closes on 19 July.

L**

I'm a parent, though only a lower-case one. I imagine that to qualify as a Henleaze Parent With A Capital P, you need to actually use a large car to take your children to school and to all their social engagements. This supposition was further reinforced when I looked at their Facebook page, where one commenter complains about the journey time to a Bristol school, from the motorway.Though obviously they're not a Henleaze Parent, other than in spirit.

I do have strong views, but the course of action that those views lead me to is not the signing of a petition. Unless it's a counter petition to say how good the bus lane is. Hence my writing this.

I replied to the e-mail, explaining my position. I was heartened to see another dissenting opinion expressed by S*****, who has found cycling along that section of road much better and safer than it had been (it's not on my normal cycling route, but on the one occasion I did go that way, I was favourably impressed too).

So.

People advantaged by the bus lane:

• bus passengers
• cyclists
• taxi drivers

People disadvantaged by the bus lane

• the chancers who used the old southbound right filter lane to queue jump
• drivers turning right at the roundabout (a demonstrably low proportion of total traffic)

Gosh, that's a tough one!

postscript: The This bus lane is madness Facebook page doesn't seem to like dissenting voices; my friend Liz had her observations deleted. Mine lasted a little longer, but disappeared after an anti-bus lane driver (and evidently queue-jumper) apparently condoned illegal driving and put the blame for it at the door of the Council. Since it's so interesting, I reproduce it here.

SC: Once you were perfectly entitled to use the right-hand lane for the top of Black Boy (sic), before they changed the priority.

DM: ...looking at the historical imagery on Google Earth, the right-hand lane appears to have been consistently a right-filter since 1999, the earliest historical layer on GE.

SC: I think this is one of the unreported side effects of continual council interference - driver frustration that can then lead to people having contempt for the rules of the road. Its most obvious form is people jumping red lights (after the green period has been markedly reduced) which is getting more and more common. BCC is at fault here. They are a joke and a growing number of people are clearly ignoring their diktats. I've even seen people cutting corners by driving over the Downs.

DM: The belief that one is above the law is nothing new - do you remember that Cabinet Minister under Thatcher, who got nobbled for a flagrant disregard of the traffic regs, and gave his opinion that 'rules are for little people'? Who the heck was that? Refreshingly honest, anyway; and nice to hear similar frankness from you!

the big game of cycling

Others, I am not the first,
Have willed more mischief than they durst...

Here in Cycling City, we get the occasional 'robust debate' about bicycles and cars, chiefly on the Bristol Evening Post website, a habitat that has proved congenial to all sorts of pond dwelling creatures; here, for instance, is a look at a 'discussion' that went on last year about cyclists.

A recent newcomer to this discussion was Kayla Maratty, over at the Bristol 24-7 website. In a piece entitled 'My homicidal tendencies towards cyclists aside, the tuition fees fight goes on’, she says

"Part of me would take great pleasure in mowing them down when they choose to cycle in the middle of the road or are determined to peddle all the wayup Black Boy Hill. But obviously I would never do that; I can get by just on the thought of it to restrain my road rage."

It is refreshing to see a bit of honesty about how some drivers feel about cyclists. I weighed in with some encouragement:

I find that revving the engine aggressively and then passing them so close that you ping them with your wing mirror is rather fun, and helps you feel better about yourself.
They'll probably pass *you*, two minutes later, when you get stuck in another static queue of traffic , but hey, live for the moment, I say!

(sadly, my comment was deleted. It's per-litickle kreckness gone mad I tells you)

Kayla's article was removed not long after, at her request, because she found the responses upsetting. The editor characterised the behaviour of the commentators as 'bullying'. You will be unable to make up your own mind about that, of course.

Well, it did get me thinking. And what I thought was, let's have a look at cyclist-hunting as a blood sport. Because, deep down, you know we all have a violent self that revels in meting out destruction and pain.

And the more I look, the more sense it makes. I mean, you can't hunt foxes with hounds anymore. It's far too expensive. Oh, and against the law. Sort of.

Shooting? If you want to go bagging pheasants, say, it would cost you about £30 or so per bird, and you would expect to pay £400 upwards for a day's shooting.

Stag hunting is even worse. You'd reckon to pay around £150 for a day's shooting, but, when you pay extra for every point on the stag's antler's, it'll cost a lot more; the lucky chap who shot the Emperor of Exmoor would expect to have paid £1600, but you could be charged up to £10,000.

If you decide to go freelance, as it were, and go out hunting while the gamekeepers lie a-sleeping, then it could be a lot cheaper. But if you got caught, then it would probably cost you about £2,500 per deer, with the chance of three months imprisonment per deer killed thrown in for good measure.

Let's face it, the wise money goes elsewhere. Cyclists are plentiful and easily bagged. And, like deer, they're big enough and usually intelligent enough to show anger, fear and other such emotions when they realise that they're about to be bagged. Which adds to the sport.

And how much does it cost? Well, if you knock one off and injure them, you might expect to pay, say, £10 for a quick respray of the scratched bit of the car. Though if you choose to stop and talk to the cyclist, then you may even end up getting them to pay for the damage, though you can't rely on it; chances are the cyclist won't be insured. The police tend to be sympathetic. Just remember the mantra: "Sorry, mate, I didn't see you". Works like a charm.

If you manage to kill them, then the worst case scenario is that you may find yourself charged with 'causing death by dangerous driving'. There is an outside chance that you will even be convicted, though with mitigating factors thrown in, and obviously with the cyclist being unable to put their side of the case, you may end up with a bit of community service.

You see? -a bit of a no-brainer, isn't it?

Yootility vehicle

questing forth

Every other time I go to see Prof Levy, my favourite endocrinologist, I have an adventure. Two years ago, it was the Drongo Bike Thieves. Before that, it was the Cat Litter Chavs. This year, it was the Yoots In Dad's Car.

Down in Broadmead, having a quick look round before my appointment, I was about to cross Horsefair, a road through central Broadmead that has for some time been closed to general traffic. A prohibition which has revealed a startling epidemic of disabilities among the owners of Range Rovers and similar prestige vehicles, which can often be spotted carrying their evidently infirm owners along this thoroughfare.

A little red car was coming as I prepared to cross the road; I think the throttle linkage must have been sticky, because it was going VROOOM BRRRUUUMMM in a quite snarly way. Perhaps it was intended to impress the shoppers at Primark.

I carried on anyway. One mustn't be deterred by these things.

The car slows. There are three Yoots in it. The driver calls out "Did you see a zebra-crossing there?" He waves a finger at the zebra-crossing free place where I had crossed.

I point back the way he came. "Did you see the No Entry sign back there?"

He mutters some vaguely obscene things and drives off...

It was nice seeing Prof Levy again. And good to see that my blood is doing what well-regulated blood should be doing.

running the gauntlet

A normal morning on Cotham Hill. The usual vans parked on the double yellows. In the background, a lorry is lurching forwards and backwards, manoeuvring into the narrow entrance of the builders' yard. Pedestrians seize their moment and dash through the gap when it offers itself. Nobody is helping the driver out by waving him back, watching his blind spots. It's about 10:30; the chaps at the yard are probably having a cup of tea.

Forty eight hours earlier, just about to the minute, a cyclist and her bike were crushed under a lorry at this exact spot. It was a bigger lorry, an articulated one; it was swinging into this same entrance when it caught her. Of the comments on the Bristol Evening Post website, a lot of them seem almost to gloat that a cyclist has been badly injured, assuming that she was doing something that she shouldn't have been doing, and reckoning that she'd got what was coming to her. The general attitude is: lorries are dangerous, and the drivers can't see very much from their cabs, so keep well clear or you've got no-one to blame except yourself.

As I commented on the website,

....it's the 'elephant in the room' thing. And it's not just an elephant, it's a visually-impaired elephant. And it's not in the room, it's on the streets.

When I worked on a ro-ro ferry, lorries were not allowed to move around unless under the supervision of crew members with hi-vis gear and radios. And yet it is apparently thought perfectly acceptable that an articulated lorry should be allowed to manoeuvre through one of the busiest parts of town without any sort of control or assistance.

getting knocked off the bike

On 30th September, I was knocked off my bike in Clifton. I was turning right into Worcester Road from College Road, and a car that was waiting to emerge from Worcester Road pulled out into me, knocking me off the bike, and injuring me.


View Larger Map



Last week I got a phone call from the Collisions Support Unit, telling me that they were not going to charge the driver with anything, as they had received a witness statement claiming that I had been going too fast, and that I was not signalling, and that I was cutting the corner. None of this is true, so I was really rather upset. I wrote back to them, as follows:

To: Collision Support Unit

Avon and Somerset Constabulary

Re; ROAD TRAFFIC COLLISION Worcester Road junction with College Road, Clifton, Bristol. Time: 12:30 Hours Date: 30^th September 2009

Dear Sir or Madam,

I refer to this incident, when I was knocked from my bicycle and injured, while turning into a side road, by a car emerging from that side road.

I received a phone call from a member of your unit on Wednesday 4^th November, advising me that you did not propose to take action against the driver involved in this incident. I understand that a witness has given his opinion that I was to blame, alleging that:

1. I was riding too fast
2. I was not indicating
3. I was cutting the corner

I am very concerned by this, on the following grounds:

1. In my opinion, I was going at a safe and appropriate speed. What is ‘too fast’, and why did the witness think that I was going ‘too fast’?
2. I was indicating, precisely as described in my statement. As I was about to turn into a junction where a car was waiting to emerge, it would have been foolish of me not to signal my intentions. I am a cyclist, a car driver, and a sometime motorcyclist. I understand the importance of making my intentions clear to other road users. I always indicate before manoeuvring when riding my bicycle.
3. It would have been impossible for me to cut the corner even had I wanted to, as the Ford Galaxy that was waiting at the junction was straddling the white line at the middle of Worcester Road, the side road into which I was turning. The position of the car can be seen in the photograph which I attached to my statement.
4. I understand that the witness in question was working in a house opposite the junction. The house is set back from the road, with a courtyard at the front, and the witness’ large white van was parked in that courtyard. He came across to the scene of the collision, and spent some time talking with the driver; I was sitting on the ground in a dazed condition, and missed what was said. I question how much of the incident he actually saw, and what grounds he had for venturing his opinion that I was at fault.

I appreciate that you are busy, but I feel that I have been wronged. As it seems that I shall be denied the possibility of cross-examining the witness at a hearing, I should be most grateful if you would question him further to clarify what he actually saw, as I am sure that he would not willingly be understood to have said something which is not true.

Yours sincerely,

Drusilla Marland

...well, I heard back from the police this morning; a police officer phoned me and said that they were not going to take the matter any further, as they can't just go around interviewing people who have sent witness statements in, in case it discourages them from doing it, or something. So I (and indeed the police) will never get to ask the mystery man why he said what he said.

blue sky parking

Bristol is a centre of excellence when it comes to innovative solutions to maximising the use of cars in a crowded urban environment. I have previously documented some of the ways in which drivers have found parking spaces where once there were none. Bristol Traffic is an indefatigable campaigner for the freedom of car drivers in Bristol, threatened as they are by the muddled thinking of the pro-bike lobby. I humbly follow in their wake.

This is an interesting bit of blue sky thinking, when it comes to parking for the man-on-the-go. The driver of this Mitsubishi Colt, R643KAV, has found a way to avoid those wasted moments usually spent lining up the car parallel to the pavement. Unfortunately, I missed the arrival of the car, so I couldn't see if the driver jumped out and crouched behind the wall, covering the house door with a handgun and shouting "Come on out with your hands up! Get out an APB and get on down to the DA's office! Carter, you slaaaag! Right, you're nicked!" or any of the vocabulary of television crime shows of the 70s.

But I did see him saunter out and drive away a while later.

plenty of parking

Ha! That's what "off-road" means!

I used to know this artistic and creative bloke who once let it slip, when he was squiffy, that he was one of the ten best drivers in the country. I was seriously impressed by this, not least because I had actually been driven by him several times and had never guessed this. I guess it was his natural modesty. I used to wonder why he absent-mindedly and slowly pumped the accelerator as we bimbled along the motorway, so that I would find myself rocking gently forward and back as the car responded. Perhaps it was 'cadence'; he was a musician, after all. We used to refer to him as the Finest Swordsman In France, because it kind of fitted, and had he been a swordsman and in France, I'm sure that he'd have been the finest.

There are lots of arty and creative people in Bristol, and I have often been impressed by the way they apply that creativity to the art of driving and parking. Such people surely deserve a degree of latitude in their treatment of the city's roads; where they lead, we dull sublunary creatures can but dream of following. Here is a small selection of their comings and goings.

This chap has installed an 'en suite' in his Land Rover Discovery, and is able to complete his toilet while driving through the city centre, ensuring his completion of his journey in a minty fresh condition.


The owner of S100NDR is enabling a young girl to gain vital experience in negotiating the open road with her scooter. Pavements are not for scooters.

YY03VHK often parks here, just around the corner from the local primary school, so that cars have to slow right down to negotiate the corners. This is obviously a Good Thing.

WP07MVA has parked on the pavement so that it barely extends into the roadway beyond the the double yellow lines. This has allowed the Clifton Tractor to continue unimpeded on its school run. And we pedestrians managed to squeeze by in the bit of pavement left to us. This is a positive result.


CE54SXC has cleverly addressed the problem of reducing visibility at corners by acting as a separation zone, so that cyclists can easily pass on the inside.

The informally-accepted rule of the road in Bristol is that, if you park so far onto the pavement that the double yellow lines are clearly visible outboard of your car, then it doesn't count as an offence. So this chap who popped the wrong way down a one way street so that he could use the cashpoint machine sensibly used the pavement, to avoid giving a nasty surprise to traffic turning into the road in the officially-approved direction. This is on Lower Redland Road, just a few yards from the police station.

It was just opposite here, more recently (on Christmas Eve, in fact) that I watched a Range Rover mount the pavement so that the woman in the passenger seat could pop into the organic butcher's to collect her turkey. (This is a difficult time for the exemplary middle classes, who are 'time poor' at the best of times, and we must appreciate the difficulties they face in getting all the trappings of Christmas together at the last moment- it was hell at Waitrose, let me tell you....)

She hopped out of the car and saw me watching. She paused guiltily, then walked towards the butchers. I was pushing my bike along the pavement towards Whiteladies Road (it is, as I have said, a one way street), and there was only just enough room for her to pass, what with a Range Rover on the pavement and all. And as she went by she said, in self-righteous sort of way, "You shouldn't be on the pavement either, you know".

"I'm pushing it, you silly fool," I replied sharply.

And then felt bad about it because I should have handled the encounter more positively.

Oh well.