I popped over to IKEA to get some more picture frames, as the nice folk at the Oxfam Bookshop in Cotham have just sold another of the pictures I have on display there (the starlings, since you ask).
While I was over at Eastgate retail park, I went into ASDA's 'Living' store to see if they had anything useful. Riding up the escalator, I was surprised to hear warning announcements at both the bottom and the top. Obviously, you can't be too careful.
So I stopped and listened again, and made a note of the wording. The announcements sandwich these two verses. The rest is by me.
“Please stand still and hold the handrail while travelling”;
You’ll see the promise of so many objects of desire
As you ascend, it’s safest to hold back;
Don’t worry, you’re already on the track
And deeper in as you go higher.
In-store security will stop you from unravelling.
You have the credit, so we’ll welcome you, direct you to the trough;
There are no windows, no uncomfortable views intrude.
The goods that we display here are the goods that you deserve
For being a good citizen, and we are here to serve.
Please form an orderly queue and don’t be rude;
“Caution; you are approaching the end of the escalator- please step off.”