Sunday, 3 February 2008
up the hill
It was my birthday. I thought I should do something to mark the occasion; Suzanne joined me, and we went over to the Black Mountains and climbed the Sugarloaf. It was cold and clear; we could see way south to the other side of the Bristol Channel.
A snow storm came rolling across the mountains to the north; it reminded me of one of those films made by volcano chasers, the ones who end up dead. I reassured myself that snow may be cold, but at lest it's not toxic. And so I took a few pictures of it instead of running away. And we drank our coffee and ate chocolate, as you do.
Me at fifty. I saw this and thought, "I'm turning into my grandma..."
This hasn't happened to me before. Oh well. I sometimes see echoes of family in my daughter's face, as transient presences. Now I see it in me too. I feel less individual all of a sudden, and conscious that there aren't that many people in front of me on the family conveyor belt, these days.
We dropped down into Abergavenny for lunch, and wandered around the market. There was a french bread stall, with a chap with a french accent behind it. I bought a nice-looking pain au levain, because I like to see how other people's bread compares to mine. I bought the loaf in french. He sold it to me in english. "Surly bugger," I thought. Suzanne suggested that it wasn't surliness but a lack of real frenchness on the part of the baker.
It was a good loaf, though. We ate it with cheese and salami and stuff, and drank the champagne that was sitting, a courier delivery, in the porch on our return home. Thank you, Richard. It was a happy birthday.
Well, Dru, you have past the fifty mark. I past it a while back and I know how you feel. I have enjoyed reading your blogs - I may not have understood every word, yet, none the less I have felt connected - yes, I know it sounds silly, but, I know what I mean. I am sorry if I sound a little sloppy - Dru - I think you are a good, all round person and I like you - so does my wife and my daughter - we all wish you well.
ReplyDeleteWell, the world has moved on - it is a Friday night and I am dressed in my favourite outfit - skirt size 10 - blouse size 16 - shoes size 6 - high heels of course and painted nails as well as the usual accouterments - Karen Millen glasses - I look very much a woman - yet, I am a bloke - much as I love my feminine persona, I have no desire for drugs or surgery - my body is, to be frank, feminine without adjustments - no transition necessary - so, what am I? With little effort I can 'pass' as woman; yet, I am ageing - legs are good and so on - besides, overall, I am attracted to women - perhaps, an innate lesbian? In a nutshell, I love wearing women's clothes - no debate.
ReplyDeleteHi again, Neil! I see that I never responded to your original post eighteen months ago. Blimey, that seems a long time now.
ReplyDelete"What am I?" Do you have the answer to your question, or are you still working it through? I wonder less as time goes on; so I guess my answer worked for me. Ish.
Well Dru - it is over two years since I posted my comments. What can I say? I think I have read almost everything you have posted - for me life has not changed much: tonight I am wearing an Oasis dress and various accoutrements - a glass or two of red wine - Joan Baez singing 'Farewell, Angelina' - Me - I have always liked/enjoyed wearing girls clothes - I have followed the links to other blogs and so on but, I can never quite connect with the issues some people have. I just buy and wear the clothes - simple - no big deal - then, physically, I do fit a female profile.
ReplyDelete